So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
