11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
