As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
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I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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