i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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