I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I am mentally ready for anal.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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