we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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