This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
two words...techno handjob
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
