The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Is it because I queefed?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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