u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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