dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
