i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
