Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
