I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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