Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
