Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
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I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
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That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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