she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
