The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
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Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
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I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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