You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I want her autograph on my taint
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize