Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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