physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize