whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
