I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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