Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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