Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
