I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
