I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
