What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize