i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
it hurts more in the daytime
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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