Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
