No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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