It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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