doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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