I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
