mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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