i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
