great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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