True but thats because hes a fetus.
I want to have your abortion
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
