how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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