Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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