I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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