I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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