I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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