mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Randomize
