i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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