Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
where am i from again
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
