I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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