it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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