Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
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