You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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