I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
