We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
