id be glad to
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
