Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I understand Curling. That high.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize