she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
