i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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