weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
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