trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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