how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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