the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
should my penis look like a turkey
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Randomize
