totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
