You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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