I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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