I didn't shave. On purpose
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
